The Fat Girl Who Cried Skinny...

Over the past few years ... well hell even months.. I have posted facebook updates CONFIRMING my desire to get skinny only to have given up a short time later before I could even give what ever diet/workout/bootcamp/fast/weightwatchers/couch 2-5k time to see if it really would be life changing. Each time I am greeted with much LOVE and Motivating words.. Each time I felt like a failure.. I mean deep in my heart, everytime I started something weightloss related I wanted desperatley bad to make it be the time..


Starting this blog has been deal to me.. I mean who wants to be the The Fat Girl Who Cried Skinny.. Who wants to let everyone down.. Wondering if people really thought I would pull it off or give up as soon as the status was no longer able to be shown on my facebook page LOL.


It hit me today in the car. While listening to Mathew West - Strong Enough..


You must You must think I'm strong To give me what I'm going through Well, forgive me Forgive me if I'm wrong But this looks like more than I can do On my own I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be I give up I'm not stong enough Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord right now I'm asking you to be Strong enough Strong enough For the both of us Well, maybe Maybe that's the point To reach the point of giving up Cause when I'm finally Finally at rock bottom Well, that's when I start looking up And reaching out I know I'm not strong enough to be Everything that I'm supposed to be I give up I'm not stong enough Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord right now I'm asking you to be Strong enough Strong enough Cause I'm broken Down to nothing But I'm still holding on to the one thing You are God and you are strong When I am weak I can do all things Through Christ who gives me strength And I don't have to be Strong enough Strong enough I can do all things Through Christ who gives me strength And I don't have to be Strong enough Strong enough Oh, yeah I know I'm not strong enough to be Everything that I'm supposed to be I give up I'm not stong enough Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord right now I'm asking you to be Strong enough Strong enough Strong enough





All this time.. I have been wondering how the hell am I gonna do this on my own.. The answer is .. I can't.. I was missing the biggest part of the equation. Sweet Baby Jesus. I need him to be strong for me.. BECAUSE I AM WEAK..





If you are still following along.. I am down 6 pounds since the 1st.. Which big girls do lose weight fast at 1st.. and well I have had a cough that I am pretty sure I have wet my pants enough to measure up for the weight loss..





Since the 1st.. I haven't eaten FAST FOOD.. I am trying to cut it out completly.. with the exception of Sandwhich shops for the time being..





I have made dinner at home everynight... and we have eaten by 5:30





I have given up soda.





I am using dessert size plates for my meals to make me feel like I am filling my plate full of food..





Thanks for all your encouraging words.. They really do help.. I mean I am REALLY PRIDE FULL... Last thing I wanna be remebered as.. Is The Fat Girl Who Cried Skinny..








Be Blessed





PJ xoxo

Have you ever...

I'm 29 years old. I have an amazing,inspiring,hardworking, without a doubt the Yin to my Yang hubby.. I call him.. Big Daddy Longhorn ( get your mind outta the gutter the Longhorn represents his LOVE for TEXAS). I have 2 of most free spirited boys in the world. They are both strong willed,funny,loving,good natured boys. They are known as Brax and Bro. I have a wonderful family. 2 Brothers who like to keep their sister stressed out but I wouldn't trade them for a million dollars. My Grandparents are a God sends. One being so angelic God came and took her back for himself.(Still very jealous,not to sound greedy but I wanted to keep her for myself. I mean she totally was my super woman.) My Grandparents are totally on my best friend list. Be JEALOUS they are wonderful. Friends.. Yep, I have them.. I am beyond blessed in that department. I have the kind that will escort you home in the middle of a foggy beyond foggiest nights . The kind that no matter how busy life gets the second you talk it's just like you had coffee yesterday. Can't get any better friends then that. My life is pretty damn good. I am beyond blessed.





All of these wonderful perks in my life. I still have one thing missing.. Somewhere during the late night changing /feeding of my Brax or Bro, the running from playdate to playdate. The worrying about how I was gonna take when my Angel would pass away and believe me having that consume your thoughts for 3 years does HAVIC on your body. Somewhere in the midst of my wonderful life that I wouldn't change.. Something has been literly WEIGHING me down.. Something has taken my extra SPARKLE.. The Sass in my Pants. Somewhere down the line, I as much as I am embarassed to say.. I let myself go..


I find myself wondering how great my life would be if only the real P.J. was there to enjoy it.


I have decided that THIS is MY year. My kids are more indepedent. I have no EXCUSE. That Skinny girl that is trapped in this fat suit is going to be making her debut.. I'm taking it one pound at a time.. It's gonna be a long hard battle BUT I am FINALLY ready . My big focus is going to be on home cooked meals..I will share my hits and misses..


My question is.. Have you ever thought how awesome life would be if ONLY one thing was different? Mine is my weight.





**My life really is good.. FAR FAR from perfect but I choose to look at ONLY the good because well.. I have enough bad from my past that I could bring back most of the soaps that have been canceled . **





Be Blessed,


P.J. xoxoxo