Over the past few years ... well hell even months.. I have posted facebook updates CONFIRMING my desire to get skinny only to have given up a short time later before I could even give what ever diet/workout/bootcamp/fast/weightwatchers/couch 2-5k time to see if it really would be life changing. Each time I am greeted with much LOVE and Motivating words.. Each time I felt like a failure.. I mean deep in my heart, everytime I started something weightloss related I wanted desperatley bad to make it be the time..
Starting this blog has been deal to me.. I mean who wants to be the The Fat Girl Who Cried Skinny.. Who wants to let everyone down.. Wondering if people really thought I would pull it off or give up as soon as the status was no longer able to be shown on my facebook page LOL.
It hit me today in the car. While listening to Mathew West - Strong Enough..
You must You must think I'm strong To give me what I'm going through Well, forgive me Forgive me if I'm wrong But this looks like more than I can do On my own I know I'm not strong enough to be everything that I'm supposed to be I give up I'm not stong enough Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord right now I'm asking you to be Strong enough Strong enough For the both of us Well, maybe Maybe that's the point To reach the point of giving up Cause when I'm finally Finally at rock bottom Well, that's when I start looking up And reaching out I know I'm not strong enough to be Everything that I'm supposed to be I give up I'm not stong enough Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord right now I'm asking you to be Strong enough Strong enough Cause I'm broken Down to nothing But I'm still holding on to the one thing You are God and you are strong When I am weak I can do all things Through Christ who gives me strength And I don't have to be Strong enough Strong enough I can do all things Through Christ who gives me strength And I don't have to be Strong enough Strong enough Oh, yeah I know I'm not strong enough to be Everything that I'm supposed to be I give up I'm not stong enough Hands of mercy won't you cover me Lord right now I'm asking you to be Strong enough Strong enough Strong enough
All this time.. I have been wondering how the hell am I gonna do this on my own.. The answer is .. I can't.. I was missing the biggest part of the equation. Sweet Baby Jesus. I need him to be strong for me.. BECAUSE I AM WEAK..
If you are still following along.. I am down 6 pounds since the 1st.. Which big girls do lose weight fast at 1st.. and well I have had a cough that I am pretty sure I have wet my pants enough to measure up for the weight loss..
Since the 1st.. I haven't eaten FAST FOOD.. I am trying to cut it out completly.. with the exception of Sandwhich shops for the time being..
I have made dinner at home everynight... and we have eaten by 5:30
I have given up soda.
I am using dessert size plates for my meals to make me feel like I am filling my plate full of food..
Thanks for all your encouraging words.. They really do help.. I mean I am REALLY PRIDE FULL... Last thing I wanna be remebered as.. Is The Fat Girl Who Cried Skinny..
Be Blessed
PJ xoxo
Hey Peejay.. You have never let me down Friend... You have to realize.. that the weight is hurting you! I love you fat, medium or skinny... It truly has to come from your heart and your ambitions.. you can't think you letting others down.. Because you are not! You need to think about who is affected and confront your own demons.. I know because I do it everyday, every hour and every minute..God Bless!
ReplyDeletePeejay! I LOVE YOU!! And just know that I am here for u with whatever support u need! I will meet u at a park and go for walks, or whatever u need me to do, but just know you are NOT letting anyone down!! Its like most of the Biggest loser contestants say "I had to be ready to make the decision for myself!! " BEcause it really is all about u girl! And I know once u make your mind up u can do it cause u are that strong of a person!! xoxo
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